How to accept affection?

 

Hello.

This time, I would like to share what I have been thinking about recently while making "kinako cookies".

How should you receive "love", everyone? Have you ever thought about?

"Isn't there any purpose" I immediately think like this reflexively.

For example, you just want to help me and immerse yourself in a sense of superiority? or

later he's forced to ask for a reward?

There is a habit of thinking like that.

Now that I'm tired of myself, I'd like to think about how to receive "love".

By the way, "love" here is not only the love of lovers, but also the love of parents, friends, acquaintances, people around us,

people who happen to be kind on the road, and various people toward themselves. It also includes the good feelings you receive, such as kindness and politeness.

Why did I come to think so ?

 I think that modern society is set to think that what we already have is lacking.

The advertisements, commercials, sales talks, and new product introductions we see all the time make us realize that what we have now is old

and inadequate.

And they inform us of better, newer and more valuable and encourage us to let old and useless leave.

As we are materially rich and many things are circulated by money, we are structured so that we want better things 

There are always many ads and flooding products,

and we are getting used to get  more something better. 

We always worry about not being able to get them and

continue to get the good and the things we should need. And you will be worried about the future.

And such ideas apply not only to substances such as visible products and services, but also to emotions and human movements.

Until now, living in small groups (family, community, etc.) has become a more populous and internationalized society, more schools are connected, and

places to work are from small shops to larger supermarkets and businesses. Has become huge.

As the group grows in this way, we compare ourselves with more people and have what we have. I started to worry about what I didn't have.

Since my life is not the end of belonging to a small community, it will be a stage where I can live in a place where I can change freely and bigger, so

more information will come in and compare with more people. increase.

You will become more aware of what you don't have and what you lack.

When you realize that you are not enough, it leads to "dissatisfaction" and

also drives the desire to "want more".

It may be natural for us living in modern society to always have "dissatisfaction", want better things, and feel "not enough" as society grows.

But what happens? when such habits and habits of thinking that cling to us living in the present age occur? even when we receive love from others?

What are the consequences of thinking that you are lacking in love, just as you think you are lacking in material?

If you're used to being anxious and unsatisfied with the feeling that your existence will be jeopardized if you don't always get something new compared to the people around you, you won't get

enough affection. , I think that kind of emotions make you think that you lack good quality affection than those around you.

Affection is more vague and sensuous than material, and it depends on the person's senses whether they always think they are missing or not.

"Affection" is invisible in quantity, quality, and content, so it is left to the sense of the recipient.

For example, parents love to scold and push for their children's growth.

And it's also the love that is sometimes needed for a child's growth.

However, it is up to the recipient, child, how think of such affection.

The form of affection is complicated, and child may not even know which one was affectionate.

In some cases, affection is thought of as a product, priced, and the recipient decides to reject it before he or she knows if it is the correct form of affection or not.

For example, if a child thinks that he / she receives less affection or  different from the affection behavior he / she expected, he / she will be disappointed

or rebelled, or envy other families. 

Sometimes a simple and easy-to-understand affection is thought to be genuine and follow people who give easy-understanding love there.

We may go towards the temptation to give us something more like an easy-to-understand affection.

In addition, no matter how much affection you receive, you may endlessly seek affection, thinking that you are "not enough, still not enough".

If your affection vessel has a hole in it, no matter how much someone pour you affection, you will not be filled like watering the vessel with a hole.

If this kind of habit of our thinking is applied to the transfer of love, in modern times, and lives in an era where there are various people and the world is expanding, 

 we will continue to seek endlessly. You may not even notice the love you already have.

We, who tend to be dissatisfied with the many better things around us, are

finding it difficult to properly accept the affection that is already there.

How can I get love in the right way?

Whether it's right or wrong, there's no end to solve every time

so it's important to keep it aside, regardless of whether it's

right or wrong. Moreover, I may never know the right answer to it.

Whether it's true affection, falsehood, or in exchange for something, the affection you have

now, the affection you 've received, whatever it is,

it's important to first look at what was (is) there.

Since it is only a fact that it is there, I receive. 

Only the fact that it is there,

and the fact that I received something like love, "I am here now", I consciously accept only that one point.

Neither price nor evaluation.

Not to mention that there is a something back. I don't even think.

If we can only focus on being there,

we never judge that it is a disappointing affectionate behavior

we never think that we still have another opportunity to receive better affection.

That kind of thought will disappear.

That way, you won't feel unsatisfied with that affection.

Focus only on that one point, "It is  here now."

With that in mind, I'm interested in the fact that the Japanese word "thank you" is well-made.

We write ありがとう"Thank you" 有難う"Difficult to have" in Kanji.

It means that we recognize that it is difficult to be there.

Think "Thank you".

I don't think it's right or not

and take that one point "having now", just receive it.

To the affection I received, just think  "thank you".

How to get affection correctly

Neither price nor evaluation.

Is it correct or incorrect?

Is it enough or not?

Is it true or hypocrisy?

Not think like that, first of all, accept that it is there.

Recognizing that it is difficult to be there,

we concentrate on that "is" one point.

I just receive it.

If this can be done, I think that people's affection will not bother me with suspicion or

feel unsatisfied. 

regardless of whether it is good or bad, regardless of quality or quantity, 

regardless of the superiority or inferiority of the content,

and if the number of such people increases,

we can pass on love more easily. Also, I think you can feel free to receive it when you receive it.

You don't need to advertise too much

to give love

because they  just receive it, and they focus on that one point.

when you receive love, 

whether it's true, a little exaggerated, or false, You don't even have to think about it.

Unlike material richness, 

I would like to be able to receive and pass on the

affection that I am grateful for being simply .

 

From now on, on this channel, I will talk about my thoughts while making sweets and making tea.

It may be hard to think about it, or it may be irreversible,

but I hope it will be a place where you think together.

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Thank you for watching. See you next time.